This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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