hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
