Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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