What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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