Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Me too!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
