remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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