Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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