I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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