Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
