Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
