She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
