You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
