Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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