we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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