We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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