can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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