dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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