I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
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