wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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