I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
