I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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