shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
