I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize