I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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