Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just fell off a train. Bad.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
