My room smells like vodka and shame
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
