im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
