how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Come see our sink grown plant.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
