i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize