one two three fourrrrnication!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
