My room smells like vodka and shame
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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