im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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