Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
