Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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