I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
