Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
