break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
