made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
barbara walters just said penis...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
