Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
