I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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