i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
