too bad you live with your parents still
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize