He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
