Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize