I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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