there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
