R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
