don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
