im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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