maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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