And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
