so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
