Your mouth is God's brothel.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize