So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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