It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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