it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
