im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
