i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
only if we run a train.
done.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
