you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
This house was built for laser tag.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
